In these, the most challenging of times, I am dancing with anxiety and fear. I’ve started praying for the graces of peace and calm. I am learning to hold a space of calm, in the midst of my fear, breathing into my belly, hips, legs allowing life to hold and support me.
One of my main fears is not having time to listen to life, to my soul’s calling, to the ebb and flow of my inner world. I so easily see other’s needs as more important than mine, because I haven’t made the space and time to listen to my own needs. “But I get paid to meet others needs in the workplace” a voice mumbles. In this way I am bumping into the wall of separation, my wall of compartmentalization, my belief that at work I must leave my needs and desires at the door because that is what I am paid to do. Where is the unity in that belief?
No wonder I feel such fear. “In order to work, to earn money, I must abandon myself, abandon my needs, my desires in the service to others.” No wonder I have so little energy left for myself at the end of the day.
So today, I will allow myself to float in and be nourished by an ocean of tranquility and compassion. I will allow the Earth, Gaia, my beloved Pacha Mama, to remind me that I am a precious human being, with value and gifts to offer; in meeting my own needs for nourishment, for rest, for reflection I can create a sea of calm, and ocean of tranquility for others. I will allow myself to remember that when I walk through the doors of work tomorrow, I can bring my entire being. (Why does that feel so scary?) In holding space for my entire being, I can create space for others. Worlds are merging, walls are dividing, fear is being tended by love.